Great, so you don’t believe in global warming. Awesome. Maybe you don’t ‘not believe in it’ per se, but you just don’t understand all the big words the science people are saying on the telly-vision. Maybe you don’t want the polar bears to take away your guns. Maybe you had a traumatic incident with a colony of penguins as a child.
I don’t care where your particular negative relationship with the concept of climate change may stem from, because it would take years of therapy to uncover and honestly I don’t have that kind of time. But whatever it may be, I need you to scale that metaphorical wall, break down that metaphorical barrier, or shatter that metaphorical glass ceiling as soon as possible.
Because I want to ski.
If there’s one thing that all sides of the political gradient can come together on, it’s skiing. I don’t want to be dramatic, but it’s basically like a pillar of unification, perfection, and all that is good in this world. It can be the solution to pretty much any problem. Meeting at work? Skip it and ski. Fight with your significant other? Go ski. Mental health problems? Lift tickets are cheaper than therapy.
But there is one little problem with skiing. It’s almost entirely reliant on natural snowfall (you don’t count Massachusetts, you don’t have any vertical) which can’t be controlled by humans. And sadly, because of human actions, snow levels are decreasing.
You might not ‘believe’ in climate change or global warming or whatever label you want to put on it because of some political ideal or opinion you have, but come on, dude, at least believe in it so we can keep skiing! Even if you don’t ski, I promise there’s a lot of us who do and would not be very hyped if snow ‘stopped happening’.
So to sum it all up: Your opinion about global warming not existing doesn’t matter. I’m sorry you got attacked by penguins as a child. Skiing is the one perfect thing in this world, and you need to start caring about climate change so skiing can continue to happen. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
